I loved him

The idea of him

The way he moved through space, his mind

How he considered things

Deliberately, kindly, with reason and distance and perspective

I saw him for his sweet soul

His kind, warm, cavernous eyes

They pulled me in while I tried to look away

I saw them glancing at me, I felt them stare

I guess I was wrong

Behind a computer screen is a song

A heart sad and alone

Wondering why I can’t have this beauty

Why he is in another woman’s arms

I loved how he made me feel

The compassion and calmness he showed

The quiet and subtle humor

His worldly perspective

His class and upstanding integrity

He is like a giraffe among moles

I loved how he inspired me

To be my better self

To make better choices (as much as I could)

To do hard things

To feel sexy and strong and vibrant


I have to let him go

Goodbye, mon ami,

(It’s not á bientôt, mon cheri)

Nor au revoir

It’s Adieu, in this life (and probably the next)

It’s Adieu, eternally




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