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in the field

about me

Enough

it’s never enough I eat into a hole of ever-elusive comfort fullness that makes me sick shame and guilt and weakening of spirit compound on top of the ice cream sundae chips and dip subs and pasta and fast food crap my face puffs and minerals drain I wonder why I self sabotage this drawsContinue reading “Enough”

Forgot

I brought 40 dresses and no socks to impress you Jumbled and swollen out of place and wilted Trying to renew, trying to impress you Birds sing out my hotel window This spring day has brought fog and traffic sounds as well Life is never linear Nor love, I am told The bus rattles outsideContinue reading “Forgot”

Love and War

I’m in love with you as bombs drop children explode oligarchs laugh My heart beats strongly for you as mothers cradle newborns in underground concrete bunkers I think about you, you haunt my dreams as young men bravely battle against tanks and terror I want you in the morning in the evening at night, byContinue reading “Love and War”

Fix

I haven’t much time I’ve got hills to climb ways to prove I’m worthy of you I’ve got hair to cut, highlight/lowlight and style teeth to straighten and whiten nails to do hooded eyelids to make new frown lines to erase pounds to shave years to reverse satisfaction to find a life desirable enough forContinue reading “Fix”

fool

We were in a pool and my pillowy body felt welcome and accepting in your arms We kissed and hugged and groped and tugged (I did other things to you too) A deep acceptance and a trying-this-on And then you left to have some pie with another in a booth, just you two and IContinue reading “fool”

Pretty. sure.

Probably. not. You’ve seemed to soften a bit over the past few weeks. Which is good. We’re back to a little Small Talk. chit chat. Personal anecdotes are acceptable again. The leaves are falling as the sun hits them on their way down. Shining in their death fall. There is beauty and grace in thingsContinue reading “Pretty. sure.”

Dirt road

The thing is I love you. I love you, it’s true. I cried this morning when I spoke with you. Tears formed because I couldn’t handle you. Your words shook me to my core. Reassurance, stability, good nature, introspection… that’s what I’m searching for. I’ve found it you; my heart is blue. Never shall ourContinue reading “Dirt road”

tossing

all night fan turning comforter between my legs flipping back and forth getting up to pee walking aimlessly through the dark halls grinning from ear to ear in the nightlight’s soft illumination feeling flutters deep within and feeling a bit insane with love infatuation or lust (I’ll take the combo, please) My toddler is sleepingContinue reading “tossing”

You

(The other you) The way-back-when you I dreamed of you last night A saying good-bye of sorts (finally, right?) Just a few sunsets later… You were marrying her (again) A few of the wedding guests remembered you and me together (back then) And still believed in us And argued with dour faces that I wasContinue reading “You”

l.o.v.e.

Is that how it is spelled? Is that what is happening? It is. It is. How did this happen? Close contact – virtual contact through a computer screen. Hashing out ideas, mixing thoughts, baking offerings of thoughtfulness and kindness to each other. You are smart and thoughtful and engaging and calm. You are funny andContinue reading “l.o.v.e.”

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