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in the field

about me

Unreciprocated

Time has rolled by this summer like a dull, loud, clunking train slow on the fat tracks, burdened by its carry My body has suffered because of my emotions I’ve stuffed them down like a heavy chain cascading down from its crane landing ungracefully with a clamorous boom twisting in a punishing snake of ironContinue reading “Unreciprocated”

Adieu

I loved him The idea of him The way he moved through space, his mind How he considered things Deliberately, kindly, with reason and distance and perspective I saw him for his sweet soul His kind, warm, cavernous eyes They pulled me in while I tried to look away I saw them glancing at me,Continue reading “Adieu”

Two fingers

I asked for a Macallan 20 year old Scotch You told me the 10 was really good And poured me two fingers in an etched glass I had just been hiking Trekking Climbing mountains Over and through the hills All night long An epic journey that took me 8 hours my first go But wentContinue reading “Two fingers”

Mountain

I left you on the mountain You couldn’t come with me You didn’t want to come So I left you Again and again and again And I’ll leave you still A thousand million times As I climb away from you And what cannot be I’ll race away from you Swim dive crawl A million milesContinue reading “Mountain”

Enough

it’s never enough I eat into a hole of ever-elusive comfort fullness that makes me sick shame and guilt and weakening of spirit compound on top of the ice cream sundae chips and dip subs and pasta and fast food crap my face puffs and minerals drain I wonder why I self sabotage this drawsContinue reading “Enough”

Forgot

I brought 40 dresses and no socks to impress you Jumbled and swollen out of place and wilted Trying to renew, trying to impress you Birds sing out my hotel window This spring day has brought fog and traffic sounds as well Life is never linear Nor love, I am told The bus rattles outsideContinue reading “Forgot”

Love and War

I’m in love with you as bombs drop children explode oligarchs laugh My heart beats strongly for you as mothers cradle newborns in underground concrete bunkers I think about you, you haunt my dreams as young men bravely battle against tanks and terror I want you in the morning in the evening at night, byContinue reading “Love and War”

Fix

I haven’t much time I’ve got hills to climb ways to prove I’m worthy of you I’ve got hair to cut, highlight/lowlight and style teeth to straighten and whiten nails to do hooded eyelids to make new frown lines to erase pounds to shave years to reverse satisfaction to find a life desirable enough forContinue reading “Fix”

fool

We were in a pool and my pillowy body felt welcome and accepting in your arms We kissed and hugged and groped and tugged (I did other things to you too) A deep acceptance and a trying-this-on And then you left to have some pie with another in a booth, just you two and IContinue reading “fool”

Pretty. sure.

Probably. not. You’ve seemed to soften a bit over the past few weeks. Which is good. We’re back to a little Small Talk. chit chat. Personal anecdotes are acceptable again. The leaves are falling as the sun hits them on their way down. Shining in their death fall. There is beauty and grace in thingsContinue reading “Pretty. sure.”

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